Letters From My Death Bed...

Hey guys it's Logan. I am writing you this from what very well might be my death bed. Why do I say this... Because who get the flu in July? Alright, go ahead and make your swine flu jokes... I'll wait right here why you go to the comments box and make every little clever swine flu comments your warped brains can come up with. (Yeah, I'm talking to you guy who told me to die so you could date Aiden.) Alright, if you are done making your comments I will proceed. I just figured I'd talk about some porn stuff tonight. What does one do to keep one's sanity when the porn star is away playing... (Not watching Elektra that's for sure, I am NOT digging this movie.) I talked to a fellow porn boyfriend over the 4th of July holiday who went with his boy to a shoot. This is something I don't think I could do... It's better to get a text that says "TTYL BABE, SCENE STARTING." then distract yourself for a few hours. I usually plan on hanging out with Matt during shoot weeks, (he knows our dirty secrets) seeing like every movie that is out, or working a hell of a lot. (The last one usually is the best option because I get so frustrated with retail my boyfriend being fucked seems like a walk in the park.)
I have also found that it is easier to not watch the scenes that Aiden is in. In fact we don't even own POPPING HIS CHERRY. (Though I'd like to see it once.) The only works of Aiden's I ever see are the stills we slap on the blog for publicity. We live normal lives outside of shoot weeks. Our bedroom has no porn in it. The only photos of Aiden are the ones beside our bed of he and I at Pride 08 being goofballs.
It makes it easier when I have some control over the situation. For example, I get to help pick out flight times or this for example. When I get to blog it connects me to this world that I'm not really in but when you're with someone you need to not completely isolate yourself from aspects of their life.
I've also found it therapeutic to have friends that are going through the same things that you are. Marcus Wyler and I have an understanding of things most gay men couldn't fathom. (This is not talking down to anyone, but how many men know that thousands and thousands of men are pleasuring themselves looking at someone performing one of their most intimate acts. Then again, sometimes Aiden and I play on Web Cam!)
But I think one of the parts that really does it for me is that excitement of booking a shoot. For example, in a few moments we will be sending Aiden photo sets to Chi Chi Larue directly to see if the goddess of all porn has any use for him at the current time, or when we were waiting to hear back from Afton Nill's about Twinklight. (He never returned Aiden's e-mail, most porn companies do not do the courtesy of declining like other performance arts.) We are waiting to hear about July's shoot in Fort Lauderdale at the moment. (Though this is kinda nerve wracking because our Disney vacation rides on this shoot!)

It can be tough. It really can be. But overall I look at this way. This is something he really wants to do and makes him happy. You guys get him the next few years, if all goes well. I get him the rest of our lives, or till we break up. Whatever comes first.

~ Logan