Okay Guys...

Click Here For My Solo Scene Clip on Broke Straight Boys!!

My Life Is So Hawt...

Not to sound like I'm full of myself but my life couldn't be more awesome than it is right now. The freedoms I have are amazing. There is nothing and no one tying me down. I am making amends with my family. I am twenty, flirty and thriving! (13 Going on 30 reference.) I guess I am just really happy with where I am right now. I'm meeting a ton of awesome guys. Going on some stellar dates. It's just fun! (Well there is the occasional creepage from Logan. I am trying to be his friend but he just doesn't get it. Friends boy! Friends!)
I had an amazing date last night. It was a guy I met on one of the fag locator sites and we had started to swap texts back and forth for a day or so before we decided to hang out. I was a little worried though because his screen name insinuated that he was after sex and most of photographs were either of him with his cock out or his cock. But he ended up being a good cuddle buddy!
So Halloween is coming up and I'm going as Jail Bait! How does one go as Jail Bait? Wait and see!!!

<3 Aiden

Dancing...

Nothing makes you feel more sexy than being up on stage with hundreds of men's eyes all focused on you. I know it makes me sound full of myself but really... Think about it. You. You're underwear. Showers pouring over you... There is just something purely sexual about it. Even the fat drag queen in the swimsuit someone makes you feel hot. (The ex boyfriend pouting in the audience, not so much.) But it is pretty awesome to have a room full of men cheering for you and slapping your ass. And, boys, it's a great way to make friends. Strip for horny men and bam(!) instant conversation starter. I can't till I am 21... I so wanna be a go-go boy in the bars in town. It will be a great way to meet guys and get my name out there.

So tonight I took second place... I always get crappy songs when I strip. The Black Eyed Peas Boom Boom Pow... All the other guys get the more sexual songs... And I always get the goofy Black Eyed Peas. Shit, I might as well get some 80s Glam Rock song. Dancing in these things is all about working the crowd before you go on. You have to become their friend before you get on stage. That way they think if they yell loud enough they can fuck you. It isn't about the moves or the sex. It's about the connections you make. (Hell, the same can be said about the porn industry.) You can be an average guy but if you have the room on your side, you're a super-star! And baby, I'm a star!

If any of you can make it out to Meteor Lounge in Houston on Thursdays that's where I'll be shaking my ass! Come on out and say hello!

<3 Aiden.

Things Are Getting Lonely..

I got a very pointed comment today... I should blog more or call this blog, "The End Of Becoming Aiden." Okay... You're right you win. I need to blog more. I don't know... I don't think I am a funk. I mean I'm happy. I'm meeting new people. I have some amazing things coming my way in the next year. (GAAAH, It kills me I can't blog about some of it and saying that is probably already saying too much!) So the next few months I may be touch and go because I have so much going on outside of more porn life. (But it is all building up to a huge event.) But, I'm not going to do the whole, "oh, I'm retiring, oh, I'm back thing." (Sorry Kameron.)

It is always hard when someone is away. Mason is out shooting and our other roomies are never home. It's not too bad to be alone, but I sure do get lonely from time to time. I wonder if I made the right choice leaving Logan. I mean I need to be me, but it is so weird to be alone in a big bed. It sucks when I see him out though. It's like I dunno, he's trying to rub it in. When him and Marcus Wyler were out together its like I got the total blow off. I know I didn't go with them but they could at least acknowledge me. It's getting late. I promise to blog more.

<3 Aiden

The Houston Boy Porn Crew

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Now Accepting Applications To Fill My Hole...

Saturday I was sick and Logan brought me a sandwich at the Wyler house. (My current address.) Along with it he brought a three page list of things he loves about me and six long stemmed pink roses. He sat me down and talked to me he said he loved me and was willing to do whatever it takes to get me back. I said... It's too late for that! He argued with me. He yelled and cried. He told me if I couldn't see that I was his world he must be blind. He said he wakes up sick and goes to bed crying. It's good to know I'm worth all that. He said "Aiden, lets try to go back to being casual boyfriends." No... I'm sorry, Logan. I told him. He was my first boyfriend, my first sexual experience and the first man I truly loved. But right now I need to explore! He said he'll always be standing outside my door. He'll make me see that he loves me.
I said to him... "I will give you the same chance I am giving everyone else." What does that mean you ask? He can take me on dates. He can hang out with me, he can be my friend, he can eat my ass (He does it so well), he can hang out with me on Halloween but I am coming into my own and need to explore this world! I have done so much since I split. I have modeled naked at a pride event holding up art. I have gone to pull parties thrown by Houston's in crowd, I have gone on dates with older men. I have been rejected by hot guys ("You're too young for me!") I have made Logan submit to me to sexual please me. I am sexy. I am powerful!

My life is amazing! I love my life!

So now I am accepting applications to fill my holes! So any hot boys who wanna fuck the hell out of me and turn me into the power bottom I long to be... Please let me know!

<3 Aiden


Oh and and someone pointed out to me Logan is now blogging.... Yeah... Well I'll plug it... It'll be interesting to see if I Come up... http://www.justwhereiamrightnow.blogspot.com

Astrology. Yup... Astrology. I'm so confused.

Found this on a www.gayastrology.blogspot.com

I'm an Gemini... Someone else is a Pieces a day away from Aires.
This is us with his Aires side. This is crazy accurate thus muddling my feelings even more. It's his Pieces that can be the problems with us...


When together Aries and Gemini are full of outrageous fun. Theirs is a romances without angst. Friends love to go out with them as well as gossip about them since their relationship is like a carefree and hugely entertaining sitcom. They talk and argue and make up, never sticking to one topic, never keeping to one plan. They simply follow their whims and seem quite happy to do so.

Aries and Gemini appear to be in flux at every stage of their life together. Though Aries says he is after commitment, neither he nor Gemini does much toward establishing permanence. Both make passionately effusive declarations of love, but seem baffled by what the next step should be. Even after they make a commitment, the relationship keep transforming itself into new forms to meet the changing emotional needs of Aries and Gemini.

Neither man has much of an attention span, yet each can maintain an interest in the relationship. Gemini with his lightning fast mind and ever shifting moods is a constant challenge to Aries. Aries, in turn, brings passion and energy to the detached Gemini. These two love talking to each other more than anything else. Each finds the other's mind fascinatingly unpredictable, a kind of puzzle one wants to spend a long time trying to solve.

The pair does share a restlessness. Moving, vacations, new activities – they will latch on to anything that can pull them away from old habits. Their many social commitments and their pursuit of new acquaintances are also intended to kept them from falling into a rut.

Because their life together goes through so many changes without moving in any one clear direction, outsiders might think that this couple is stuck. But owning property, living more upscale, and acquiring status are less important to these two than having an interesting time together. Some might label this as immaturity; others might call it enlightenment. Still, Aries will get frustrated at times with Gemini's aimlessness, while Gemini seethes over Aries' boorish brashness, which he thinks holds them back. In truth, both of them reinforces these traits in the other, so any "progress" in lifestyle is going to come from the effort of one individual, not from the two working together.

What this pair calls physical affection, most of us would consider goofing off. And what they call sex, most of us would also consider goofing off. Aries and Gemini treat sex as recreation rather than anything heavy, so their lovemaking is giddy and varied. They often switch roles and positions, but in general Aries likes to be the pursuer and Gemini the tease. Much more attention, and much more pleasure, is taken in the preliminaries than in sexual act themselves.

In dealing with the world, Aries and Gemini can be naïve. Intensely social, they interact with many people as a couple. However, neither is suspicious by nature, so it is hard for them to judge who their real friends are. This couple is particularly prone to breakups engineered by some manipulator in their social circle. Preying on Aries' jealousy and Gemini's flirtatiousness is enough to drive the wedge. Gemini is usually the first to catch on to what is happening, but Aries is the one who works hardest to patch things up.

Advice I've gotten:

[20:10] SNHERE: be open and honest about everything you are feeling, within reason that is
[20:10] SNHERE: maybe you should take him back
[20:10] SNHERE: and just have better communication skills
[20:10] SNHERE: talk to him about stuff like this
[20:11] SNHERE: Just be like, I feel like there is a problem
[20:11] SNHERE: and then talk about it
[20:11] SNHERE: be proactive, not reactive

I Don't Think It Is Supposed To Be This Way....

The world is a strange place for me these days. There is so much freedom in it and at times it can feel like a prison. I am free but still a prisoner. There are good days and there are bad. There are days that I just can't stop texting Logan and moments I just wish he wouldn't text me. (It's mutual.) I know, I know, I know, everyone tells us to not talk for awhile if we want to be friends. They say to give each other room to breath. But it's not that simple. You can't go from talking to someone every day and holding them every to quitting them cold turkey. Granted I haven't seen him in about a week... but I want to... and I don't want to... but I do want to... but I shouldn't... but I have to... This is my mind at the moment...

You can offer up all the advice you want but I don't think it will change my mind much. Though recently I've engaged in some, what some would call, destructive behavior, but don't worry I am smart about it and just having fun. I've also found comfort in the arms and on the dick of another recently single friend. I just gotta keep my time (and holes) filled and the pain will go away I suppose.

I am supposed to go see him tomorrow. I may cancel. Sorry babe. I just don't know if I can handle it right now.


Okay... so two huge things in my life... A Huge Production Company wants to work with me... But I may really alter my life in January... But they said they'd be willing to wait till next summer so I really may get a chance to become a big person in the biz. So much in the air right now it is scary. And I'll make the announcements as soon as I know more! (Or it is all in stone.)

<3 Aiden

Where I Am Right Now...

Okay guys... So here it is. I promised to share all of the details of my life with you and here is something that tears me up as I type it. It's over. Logan and I ended our relationship.

We have been apart since last Tuesday when I decided that I don't know who I am anymore, where I am going to be, or even who I want to be. So much of my life is living in this moment and I have found myself in a whirlwind of cataclysmic events since the summer of '08 there has always been something knocking me down, over, and over, and over, and over again. I came out and my parents disown me, my school leans on me and makes my life difficult. I can't get a break when it comes to classes, it is always something. I do porn and I am singled out by people for absolutely no reason other then the facts they are bullies and somehow picking on me makes them feel more secure. I've had my ups and downs with Logan and just someone all of this combined has gotten to be too much. It's like an internal combustion burning me up from the inside.

I don't mean to sound like a whiny drama queen but it has just been so much for my heart to handle over the last 20 months. Somethings in my life have to change. So why Logan you ask? Alot of you have been really supportive over the last week about my choices and helped me talk out the things I am feeling. I just decided that I love Logan, but I am not in love with Logan. We shared a small room at his parents house, the only time I could get me time alone was like at one in the morning in the television room or at the gym. People were always home and always talking or making noise. It killed our sex life. Its not comfortable to have sex in a house when someone could walk by the bedroom and hear it. So sex became few and far between and when we did have it, it had to be quick so that no one came home and heard us. The age difference did start to get to me as well. I can't go to the places Logan and his friends like to go so I'd often volunteer to go dance at the local club and they could meet me after. Soon, Logan being gone for a drink or two would lead to him and his friends being gone for hours. And the little comments he would always make. I'm your boyfriend not your friend! (He later apologized for this when he realized how he was behaving.)

Now please don't get me wrong. Logan IS an amazing person. He has been my protector, my provider (even now that we are broken up he is looking out for me), he has been my best friend, my dance partner, my companion, and my lover. In fact, I used to be a meek boy who didn't like to leave his room, because there wasn't video games or magic cards out there... I am no where near that person I used to be and I owe a huge majority of that to him. He would push, and push, and push, and push me to do things outside of my comfort zone and I thank him so much for that. In fact, you should too! There would be no Aiden Ash if it hadn't been for Logan!

Where are we going from here? Well... We had dinner and it went so well. He brought me flowers we talked and agreed at this point in our lives it would be best for me if I left for awhile. We are still going to be friends and I hope we are still best friends. I can not imagine my life without him in it and I hope he feels the same about me. I still want him to be an active part of my porn career and have him actively help me with the business side. I still need him and the people who come with him in my life. (Even though I don't know where that will be.) So for the moment he is down but not out.

Just for those of you who are going to ask: No, Logan is not doing good. He's going through his stages and being incredibly moody. (According to friends he doesn't eat or sleep much so his eyes look like a crack whores. Sorry to all you crack whores.) I know he will pull through this. I text him to check up on how he is doing, and we are going to try to hang out in a group next week to see if it works. (Which I hope it does. I can't not have him around, plus he can't beat Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 without me!) So for those of you who IM and Tweet with him be nice and uplifting, he is spending some time getting to know the Wyler boys better so that should help him get his head back in the game.

As for me... Well my Mom came down to spend a few days with me! I think we are on the road to recovery! I'm having a wonderful time with her, nice dinners, Broadway shows, hanging out together in a really nice hotel room in town. So I am excited... We made an agreement as a family to put the last year and half's hostilities behind us and start anew. I am living with a friend in Houston, who said I can stay as long as I need to and he enjoys not being alone in a big house. (I also stay with the Wylers in their new home (beautiful by the way) for the times I just need to get out and have some fun.) I really do miss Logan, but I am going to stick to my guns and discover who I am as an independent person and am not closed to the idea of maybe one day being with Logan again if our hearts ever meld back together. It's terrifying to be where I am but I know it'll be good.

Thanks for being there for me... No really, all of your comments, concerns and phone calls have really helped me through this. It is going to be hard. I am going to have dark moments. He was my first, he was my first boyfriend, and one of my best friends. In the end I will come out a stronger person for this and so will he. (And for all you Logan fans, he isn't going to be gone. I'll still do updates about him and all that jazz.)

Alright... I think I am done. Here is my heart guys. Any advice, comments, or possibly naked photos of you are appreciated...

<3 Aiden


(Oh, and I have some really big and excited porn news. Like HUGE NEWS! But more on that later.)

Time For Some Tough Choices...

Okay... Logan is about to pick me up. We're going to have a talk. I don't know where it is going to go. My heart hurts.