Merry Christmas From Logan and I!

Grandma Booty Call

Hey guys, as usual I am sorry that I haven't been around. It has been CRAZY! Between saying good bye to Logan, a wedding weekend, flying to Arizona and packing for my Florida internship, my hands have been tied! But I'm back! Hello! You might remember me, my name is Aiden and you're reading about my big adventures before I hit the big time! (Oh, it is coming, I am just not allowed to talk about it quite yet!)

So thanks for all the comments about Logan and his weight loss. Please don't think I'm a man-bitch, he was totally okay with me posting it, and I would like him to keep a progress report on his blog. (Or just use his blog in general!)

So I am currently in Arizona spending time with my Grandmother and Aunt and their families. I haven't seen them since the whole coming out fiasco and it has been nice to get reacquainted. They were both very supportive of me through the whole thing even when my mother told me to "Get AIDS and die" for being gay. But that is all behind me now and "There's a great big beautiful tomorrow..." (Can ya tell me where that is from?) The reason for this post it so share a funny story... (Enter fog and wind chimes as we go back to when Logan and I were on a break.)

I was upset and talking to my Grandma about if I had made the right choice or not when separating from Logan and she told me about this "Nice gay man, she goes to church with." She then asked me if maybe I would like to e-mail the man back and forth and I would have a positive gay adult influence in my life. So the guy and I start to become internet pen pals. Eventually he and I start to text message each other and it was a lot of fun he was a really nice guy and I really enjoyed talking to him. Well one night he and I got to talking a little dirty on the text about how I do porn and how he has a rather large penis he would love to fuck me with... Then Logan and I get back together so what was the end of that talk and talking to him was few and far between.

Okay kill the fog! So here I am in Arizona and I suppose that my Grandma sent a text to her friend to tell him I was in town because I get a text message that says

"Hey guy! I hear you're in town! What are doing?"

"Oh hey! I'm shopping with my family."

"Cool! Did you buy anything good?"

"Just a new pair of flip flops."

"Why don't you come over here and I will fuck the flip flops off of you."

That's right Grandma's church buddy sent me a booty call text message saying he wanted to fuck the flip flops off of me. Logan thought this was hilarious. A few messages later I showed him the photo of the guy and Logan said... "Why don't you tap that!" I told him I wasn't looking to "tap" anything but all Logan had to do was tell me what he wanted to do to me in three weeks when I am back in Houston and... well....

When you think about it this... My Grandma was my pimp and set me up on a booty call...

Love Aiden

Logan Is Fat

Before we get to the main part of this blog I need to claify a few things. I wrote a very long blog about why I moved out of MASON'S HOUSE, but I after reading it I realized that writing a blog about this man's petty nature and the petty list he wrote, makes me just as petty. (Also, I do not want to be guilty of putting things down on paper that may be untrue because they are written out of ANGER... That's right, that was Mason's chinese take out all over the microwave. I would never find a "booger in the shower" and blame someone... Unless of course I was an alien who was not capable of producing mucus.) Okay, I admit it, that was bitchy of me, but I am just so mad! I've calmed down a bit, but after all that drama... You couldn't drag me back into that house until it was minus one clean freak! (Hey, hey, hey, don't shame on me to me! He is behaving the exact same way, so I'm having a twenty year old moment.) But I just want to clarify, I am not mad at Mason or Marcus. Come to think of it.. I'm just over it as far as the other one is concerned. I go back to Alaska in 4 days anyway so I'm going to spend most of my time in Houston with Logan before my internship anyway. (Details later.)

Okay, The Logan question... Are we together? Yes... Ish... Did we really break up? Yes. (Look for photos of when were broken up you can see the black circles under our eyes.) What happpened to bring us back together? A very romantic date, a diamond ring, and nights of lonliness... I realized while laying naked next to another man that I wasn't happy jumping from bed to bed or sucking random cocks off to feel wanted. I had someone who loved me 100% the whole time even when I was a completly awful person to him. I would tell him about my wonderful date, he would buy my flowers. I would go get gang banged, he would still bake me dinner. I would tell him not to touch me and sit across the room from me, he still wrote me love notes.

Something was missing from me when we were apart. He may have been an asshole when we were together but he was my asshole. Things have been going great since we decided to give it another whirl. And this is where the hate flames are going to come in...

Logan... We had a deal. You are going to lose weight. You are no longer going to bitch about how you look fat or how you feel fat. You are going to join the gym. You say you have a low sex drive because you feel unattractive with your shirt off time to change that! Gentlemen and Ladies... Logan 2006 and Logan 2009:

Logan you are the man that ate you're little Logan. So here it is out in the open. You can be better for me and for you! How many people get Mason Wyler, the man with the body millions lust over to offer to be your work out buddy? You have a golden opportunity to turn your life and health around. I suggest you take it....

Well, hope no one gets mad at me for this one. I just want to put this out in the open where thousands will see and hope the boy gets his butt in gear! Any weight loss suggestions for him guys?

Love Aiden

Out Of The House Of Wyler

CENSORED RANT FOR POLITICAL REASONS!

Thanks for listening to my rant. I needed to get it out.

Love Aiden...

Mom and Logan

It's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to!
Dad: Are you purposely trying to hurt me?
Me: What do you mean?
Dad: You haven't called in 8 days!

Boys... Do you call your parents every time you turn around? Now don't get me wrong... I love my parents... But they cut contact with me for a year. Not the other way around. I tried to keep in touch and to make amends and I was told that I would eventually "Get AIDS and die." Now I really want to work things out with my Mom and Dad and I want to have that close relationship with them we once had... But... Time people! Time! Texts are sufficient are they not? Do you need a detailed report of everything I do every time I do it?

Why is this bothering me today? Logan and I aren't totally back together, but we are in a semi getting back together process. Working out our issues? I don't know what the hell to call it but it is what it is. But here is the issue...

My Mom and Logan are TEXTING!
Small talk!
Not real talk!
Small talk!
What do I do? They were talking about coffee and shopping!
I don't know what to do... Advice please!

Love Aiden

The Green Monster....

"Aiden where have you been? You always say that you're going update and stay on the ball but you never do!"

Well I'll tell you why! My roommate is off to a big company tomorrow to possibly sign on with them! Don't assume you know who it is, because you don't. So don't guess and pity me. I guess I dropped the ball for a bit. All these things with Logan and my internship coming up, I've just gotten discombobulated. Yes, I said it things with Logan. I don't know what it is. Last weekend he begged me to take me on a really nice date so of course I let him... I didn't know it was going to be dinner at fancy Italian restaurant, staying over night at five star hotel (that I know cost him most of his paycheck for one night!), and get his... A ring, a freaking diamond ring! He said it was a promise ring that I can wear to know he's waiting on me for when I decide I want to come back to him. Sweet? Yes. Arrogant? Possibly! Did I like it? Yes. But right now... I also like sucking dick and taking names!

Living in the house of Wyler has been amazing and I love it, but sometimes it is hard to look around and see these jocks totally trampling me as far as porn goes... I know twinks only do so well in porn... Hell, my friends at Unzipped love to poke fun at us... as do my house mates. I love them but I guess I am just discouraged. Okay, okay, I know I have talked about this big deal I may have coming up but that's months off and I just really want to feel like a star in something! I know it sounds lame but... Is that too much to ask? Just to be the alpha dog at something! (And no I won't join the king of the twinks battle!)

On a plus side, I threw a great get together last weekend. Met some cool new people and almost broke some of my friends up. (Opps!) But it was a lot of fun! And my Thanksgiving was fantastic. Logan's Mom had me over and we did the twenty person Cranium thing! I promise more news soon boys!

Love Aiden

Big Rob, Little Rob, And Me...

I don't know if this is a blog or a rant. But I'll risk it. So a few weeks ago I was contacted by a guy on Adam4Adam claiming to be a guy from Orlando Florida in Houston selling Medical Robotics. That makes sense since Houston has the largest medical center in the world. The man's photos are smoking hot, and he is quite the internet charmer... But he is very elusive. He won't give his phone number, he's always in meetings, he only wants to meet up at very obscure times. At first I bought this. He was a cool guy looking to hang out with younger men. But lately, he seems to know everything about me on surface level. That I do porn, about my break up, he has the same interests... I started to look to other sources... My friends, Logan, maybe a guy I had recently befriended (Little Rob). While I could make connections and motives behind some of them, I don't think any of them would take things this far. There are too many things that are too similar for this guy to be real. At the moment I have my primary suspects, if indeed the man is not real.

What triggered such a petty blog you may ask? Logan was bitching to me tonight that he was having a good conversation with a guy who later asked him if he was the "evil genius behind Big Rob (The A4A guy.) " Logan then got really upset and said that made him just feel dirty and cheap. Why would someone accuse myself or Logan of being this guy? Because he frequently sets up gang bangs trying to lure guys to him with me as the bottom boy, and sometimes apparently he throws in Logan from time to time. He has also thrown in some guys that I'm friends with on a4a or have been out with at the clubs. So I'm starting to get the vibe I have a stalker/cyber-stalker. Are you this guy? (I don't want to give out his SN just yet in case he is real.) But I've started to wonder if it's a blog reader that just went a bit too far. I mean it wouldn't be too hard to find information on any porn star if you really wanted it.

So if you are not real... Please stop. I get it, you're all kinds of crazy. You like me. You know things about me and you like to flaunt this. But really... Really... You're starting to disrupt my life and my friends lives. Marcus even questioned if I was making this a big elaborate hoax. NO! So Big Rob... From Orlando Florida.... Who Sells Medical Robotics... Are you real? Or are you an asshole who gets off using me and my friends as fantasies?

<3>

Gay Bashing In My Community

The image I am starting with is Langham Creek High School. The High School is just about 5-10 Minutes from where I live. (Depending on if lights are cooperating or not.) If any of you follow the gay rights rags, or any local Houston news you'll know that recently there was an attack on a student because he was a homosexual. The student asked for help from an assistant principal and his bus driver who both ignored his pleas for help and he ended getting beaten for 7 minutes with a metal pipe. What did the principal do? Went on with his after school duties and let the student get on the bus. What did the bus driver do when he saw the gay student being chased by a gang of nine boys? He drove off. Thank God a local property owner was home, and thank god he had a shot gun. The man fired warning shots, possibly saving the teens life. The assistant principal thus far has remained undisciplined and the bus driver is on suspension. A young man could have died because someone PAID... PAID... PAID! to ensure safety of all their students didn't take the threats seriously. A child was beaten for being gay. Most of my readers are gay this could have been you as a kid.... What really freaks me out is that this could have been Logan.

Logan attended Langham Creek back in 1999-2003 and he has relatives who go there as well. What really concerns me is that one of Logan's baby brother's sweet homosexual friend attends school and now has to spend the next year and a half walking these halls fearing for his safety. This is not just a random school that a random act of violence occurred at. This is MY community. This is the place I call home. This is the place I walk the streets at night to enjoy the fall air. This is the place I work out at. This is the place I go to dinner with my friends in. This is the place I rest my head at night. This is disgusting! This is uncalled for!

This was not an attack on a young gay guy. This was an attack on all gay guys in my community. There are 9 guys in my community with so much homophobia in them they would attack another... AND IT WAS ALLOWED! It was affirmed. They were told it's okay because the adults responsible for their upbringing stood by allowed it!

Here is a link to one of the many coverages of this story!

Please guys.... Call the school: (281) 463-5400

Fax The School: (281) 345 - 3509

Write the School: 17610 FM 529, Houston, TX 77095

LANGHAM CREEK HIGH SCHOOL

Principal Cheryl Johns

This can't stand!

Please do this for me.

<3>

The House Of Wyler

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I am a Lonely Little Boy!

Where have I been? Where have you been? You don't comment, or IM, or write! It's like you don't love me anymore! Okay that's a lie, you guys are always up on my nuts, and I love it! I've just been really busy trying to meet people. You would think being a porn model, meeting and getting laid would be so much easier than it has been! I'm by no means arrogant, I know I'm just a good looking guy and there are guys that are worlds better, but for real someone take me to dinner! I've decided I'd like to date another porn model. Why? Arrogance? Fantasy? Nope! Practicality.

If I were to date another porn model, it would make the tension of telling someone, oh I do porn so much easier. That and I wouldn't have to worry about jealousy. (Now, Logan, don't get your panties in a wad, I'm not saying you were crazy about it, but some of these new guys... JESUS CHRIST ON A CROSS!) This is my Adam4Adam profile now:

Nice to meet you

20, 5'6", 127lb, 26w, Swimmer's, Blond Hair,

Some Body Hair, White, Looking forFriendship, Relationship.

Just here to meet friends Not here for Sex.

1. No im not a prostitute

2. Yes I have done porn.

3. Yes i really do just want friends, not sex.

Thanks and have a great day

I am just over being called an AIDs magnet, a Whore, a slut. One guy told me the other day that I'm only 20 and have already ruined my life. Yeah, fuck you very much. I hope you enjoy your 7.50 an hour at Abercrombie and Fitch. Bitch. So yes, I think I'd start to like seeing other boys in the pornography industry and let the commoners sort themselves out. (And if you don't see that I am joking at calling you commoners, you're crazy!) And before anyone says it... No... I will not be dating Mason Wyler. He is my older horny brother. Okay maybe my cousin. I wouldn't suck on my brother's dick. Not that I'm saying I have sucked on Mason's... (Not saying I haven't. Gotta keep you guessing! ) But living in the house of porn, I've gotten to meet and/or talk to some very hot porn guys. (Ok... Ok... Guys, don't whine, I've met a lot of hot non-porn guys.)

You know what guys really get me hot?

Phillip Ashton

Chase Harding

Ryan Raz

Blake Riley (Retired)

I mean are any of these boys too much to ask for! Wow, how arrogant do I sound! It is just tough to meet guys who don't just want to fuck me because I do porn, or who don't judge me for doing so. (Living in the porn house helps.)

So stop doing porn you say! Make me! I love it! It's fun and a community that is pretty exclusive. Heck, I can write a tell all novel about it in a few years and it'll be on the CLEARANCE shelf in weeks! I mean have you ever been on the clearance shelf! I have high goals.

And to address those of you who are asking about Logan, the link to his blog is to the left of my blog text.

I would also like to say... I am not anti law enforcement at all. Again... I am not anti law enforcement. But tonight, I was out driving with a friend and it was midnight, and a cop just saw that we were young and started to follow us to the grocery store. When we were inside the store he sat and waited by the door , then proceeded to follow us to our car. We ignored him and drove off. He freaking followed us half way home, going slow like a creeper. Really?! Really?! I'm a tiny blonde twink who was with a preppy looking guy we are so threatening.

Alright, I missed you guys! I'll update soon!

<3>

UPDATE!

HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID AS TO LEAVE OFF THE MAN WHO GETS ME OFF MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE PORN INDUSTRY ! WHEN I WAS WITH LOGAN I REFUSED TO PLAY AROUND OFF CAMERA... THE ONLY PERSON I WAS ALLOWED TO PLAY WITH WOULD BE :

DERREK DIAMOND (<3)

Auditions...

So lately, I haven't been as online active as I usually am. I've been preparing for a big audition that I had today in Austin Texas. (No, it wasn't porn.) So, I have been dancing, and dancing, and dancing. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not quitting porn, or what is that term that everyone is throwing around these days to get attention... 'Retiring'. You gotta get benefits to retire!) But, I am trying to get a gig setup to bring in some income. (I have a job now, I just don't work there much.) But, please don't mistake this as me leaving the industry after a year. (After all, there are things coming up that I can't tell you about!) So, Marcus "Wyler" and I are in Austin, living it up at the Extended Stay motel (Hey, it's got a kitchen!) and living it up on our mini-vacation. We've met some hot boys, gotten some phone numbers, and of course taken in the local Austin weirdness. I also saw a pair of underwear here, I can't live without! For the love of God someone buy me an early Christmas present! (I'd def do a sexy shoot for the blog with these.) There is something big coming up for me soon, but I don't wanna drop that bomb just yet! But it's gonna change my life for a few months.

Things are going awesome with my mother. She came down for a few days. We hung out, went to see MARY POPPINS: THE MUSICAL, Went shopping, she found an enema kit in my car. You know all the normal things that a mother and son do together! I'm going to go back to Alaska for Christmas this year! I am really excited. She wanted me to come for Thanksgiving as well, but do you know how long all those flights are? Plus, I already promised some people I'd be spending the Thanksgiving holiday with them. Oh, I left out that Logan, and my mother met face to face when she was down here. They have never really been two peas in a pod, but it was... good? awkward? I'm not sure how it went... I just needed him to sell us a bottle of Cinnamon Dolce syrup! But, that was odd the ex... Meeting the mother... Than they started text messaging each other back and forth! VERY ODD.

Alright, Marcus and I are going to go out and try to get some Austin boys naked now.

<3>

Just a few photos from Halloween.

I didn't have my camera at the club. Which I regret. Jail Bait... And His Date Helga.

Okay Guys...

Click Here For My Solo Scene Clip on Broke Straight Boys!!

My Life Is So Hawt...

Not to sound like I'm full of myself but my life couldn't be more awesome than it is right now. The freedoms I have are amazing. There is nothing and no one tying me down. I am making amends with my family. I am twenty, flirty and thriving! (13 Going on 30 reference.) I guess I am just really happy with where I am right now. I'm meeting a ton of awesome guys. Going on some stellar dates. It's just fun! (Well there is the occasional creepage from Logan. I am trying to be his friend but he just doesn't get it. Friends boy! Friends!)
I had an amazing date last night. It was a guy I met on one of the fag locator sites and we had started to swap texts back and forth for a day or so before we decided to hang out. I was a little worried though because his screen name insinuated that he was after sex and most of photographs were either of him with his cock out or his cock. But he ended up being a good cuddle buddy!
So Halloween is coming up and I'm going as Jail Bait! How does one go as Jail Bait? Wait and see!!!

<3 Aiden

Dancing...

Nothing makes you feel more sexy than being up on stage with hundreds of men's eyes all focused on you. I know it makes me sound full of myself but really... Think about it. You. You're underwear. Showers pouring over you... There is just something purely sexual about it. Even the fat drag queen in the swimsuit someone makes you feel hot. (The ex boyfriend pouting in the audience, not so much.) But it is pretty awesome to have a room full of men cheering for you and slapping your ass. And, boys, it's a great way to make friends. Strip for horny men and bam(!) instant conversation starter. I can't till I am 21... I so wanna be a go-go boy in the bars in town. It will be a great way to meet guys and get my name out there.

So tonight I took second place... I always get crappy songs when I strip. The Black Eyed Peas Boom Boom Pow... All the other guys get the more sexual songs... And I always get the goofy Black Eyed Peas. Shit, I might as well get some 80s Glam Rock song. Dancing in these things is all about working the crowd before you go on. You have to become their friend before you get on stage. That way they think if they yell loud enough they can fuck you. It isn't about the moves or the sex. It's about the connections you make. (Hell, the same can be said about the porn industry.) You can be an average guy but if you have the room on your side, you're a super-star! And baby, I'm a star!

If any of you can make it out to Meteor Lounge in Houston on Thursdays that's where I'll be shaking my ass! Come on out and say hello!

<3 Aiden.

Things Are Getting Lonely..

I got a very pointed comment today... I should blog more or call this blog, "The End Of Becoming Aiden." Okay... You're right you win. I need to blog more. I don't know... I don't think I am a funk. I mean I'm happy. I'm meeting new people. I have some amazing things coming my way in the next year. (GAAAH, It kills me I can't blog about some of it and saying that is probably already saying too much!) So the next few months I may be touch and go because I have so much going on outside of more porn life. (But it is all building up to a huge event.) But, I'm not going to do the whole, "oh, I'm retiring, oh, I'm back thing." (Sorry Kameron.)

It is always hard when someone is away. Mason is out shooting and our other roomies are never home. It's not too bad to be alone, but I sure do get lonely from time to time. I wonder if I made the right choice leaving Logan. I mean I need to be me, but it is so weird to be alone in a big bed. It sucks when I see him out though. It's like I dunno, he's trying to rub it in. When him and Marcus Wyler were out together its like I got the total blow off. I know I didn't go with them but they could at least acknowledge me. It's getting late. I promise to blog more.

<3 Aiden

The Houston Boy Porn Crew

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Now Accepting Applications To Fill My Hole...

Saturday I was sick and Logan brought me a sandwich at the Wyler house. (My current address.) Along with it he brought a three page list of things he loves about me and six long stemmed pink roses. He sat me down and talked to me he said he loved me and was willing to do whatever it takes to get me back. I said... It's too late for that! He argued with me. He yelled and cried. He told me if I couldn't see that I was his world he must be blind. He said he wakes up sick and goes to bed crying. It's good to know I'm worth all that. He said "Aiden, lets try to go back to being casual boyfriends." No... I'm sorry, Logan. I told him. He was my first boyfriend, my first sexual experience and the first man I truly loved. But right now I need to explore! He said he'll always be standing outside my door. He'll make me see that he loves me.
I said to him... "I will give you the same chance I am giving everyone else." What does that mean you ask? He can take me on dates. He can hang out with me, he can be my friend, he can eat my ass (He does it so well), he can hang out with me on Halloween but I am coming into my own and need to explore this world! I have done so much since I split. I have modeled naked at a pride event holding up art. I have gone to pull parties thrown by Houston's in crowd, I have gone on dates with older men. I have been rejected by hot guys ("You're too young for me!") I have made Logan submit to me to sexual please me. I am sexy. I am powerful!

My life is amazing! I love my life!

So now I am accepting applications to fill my holes! So any hot boys who wanna fuck the hell out of me and turn me into the power bottom I long to be... Please let me know!

<3 Aiden


Oh and and someone pointed out to me Logan is now blogging.... Yeah... Well I'll plug it... It'll be interesting to see if I Come up... http://www.justwhereiamrightnow.blogspot.com

Astrology. Yup... Astrology. I'm so confused.

Found this on a www.gayastrology.blogspot.com

I'm an Gemini... Someone else is a Pieces a day away from Aires.
This is us with his Aires side. This is crazy accurate thus muddling my feelings even more. It's his Pieces that can be the problems with us...


When together Aries and Gemini are full of outrageous fun. Theirs is a romances without angst. Friends love to go out with them as well as gossip about them since their relationship is like a carefree and hugely entertaining sitcom. They talk and argue and make up, never sticking to one topic, never keeping to one plan. They simply follow their whims and seem quite happy to do so.

Aries and Gemini appear to be in flux at every stage of their life together. Though Aries says he is after commitment, neither he nor Gemini does much toward establishing permanence. Both make passionately effusive declarations of love, but seem baffled by what the next step should be. Even after they make a commitment, the relationship keep transforming itself into new forms to meet the changing emotional needs of Aries and Gemini.

Neither man has much of an attention span, yet each can maintain an interest in the relationship. Gemini with his lightning fast mind and ever shifting moods is a constant challenge to Aries. Aries, in turn, brings passion and energy to the detached Gemini. These two love talking to each other more than anything else. Each finds the other's mind fascinatingly unpredictable, a kind of puzzle one wants to spend a long time trying to solve.

The pair does share a restlessness. Moving, vacations, new activities – they will latch on to anything that can pull them away from old habits. Their many social commitments and their pursuit of new acquaintances are also intended to kept them from falling into a rut.

Because their life together goes through so many changes without moving in any one clear direction, outsiders might think that this couple is stuck. But owning property, living more upscale, and acquiring status are less important to these two than having an interesting time together. Some might label this as immaturity; others might call it enlightenment. Still, Aries will get frustrated at times with Gemini's aimlessness, while Gemini seethes over Aries' boorish brashness, which he thinks holds them back. In truth, both of them reinforces these traits in the other, so any "progress" in lifestyle is going to come from the effort of one individual, not from the two working together.

What this pair calls physical affection, most of us would consider goofing off. And what they call sex, most of us would also consider goofing off. Aries and Gemini treat sex as recreation rather than anything heavy, so their lovemaking is giddy and varied. They often switch roles and positions, but in general Aries likes to be the pursuer and Gemini the tease. Much more attention, and much more pleasure, is taken in the preliminaries than in sexual act themselves.

In dealing with the world, Aries and Gemini can be naïve. Intensely social, they interact with many people as a couple. However, neither is suspicious by nature, so it is hard for them to judge who their real friends are. This couple is particularly prone to breakups engineered by some manipulator in their social circle. Preying on Aries' jealousy and Gemini's flirtatiousness is enough to drive the wedge. Gemini is usually the first to catch on to what is happening, but Aries is the one who works hardest to patch things up.

Advice I've gotten:

[20:10] SNHERE: be open and honest about everything you are feeling, within reason that is
[20:10] SNHERE: maybe you should take him back
[20:10] SNHERE: and just have better communication skills
[20:10] SNHERE: talk to him about stuff like this
[20:11] SNHERE: Just be like, I feel like there is a problem
[20:11] SNHERE: and then talk about it
[20:11] SNHERE: be proactive, not reactive

I Don't Think It Is Supposed To Be This Way....

The world is a strange place for me these days. There is so much freedom in it and at times it can feel like a prison. I am free but still a prisoner. There are good days and there are bad. There are days that I just can't stop texting Logan and moments I just wish he wouldn't text me. (It's mutual.) I know, I know, I know, everyone tells us to not talk for awhile if we want to be friends. They say to give each other room to breath. But it's not that simple. You can't go from talking to someone every day and holding them every to quitting them cold turkey. Granted I haven't seen him in about a week... but I want to... and I don't want to... but I do want to... but I shouldn't... but I have to... This is my mind at the moment...

You can offer up all the advice you want but I don't think it will change my mind much. Though recently I've engaged in some, what some would call, destructive behavior, but don't worry I am smart about it and just having fun. I've also found comfort in the arms and on the dick of another recently single friend. I just gotta keep my time (and holes) filled and the pain will go away I suppose.

I am supposed to go see him tomorrow. I may cancel. Sorry babe. I just don't know if I can handle it right now.


Okay... so two huge things in my life... A Huge Production Company wants to work with me... But I may really alter my life in January... But they said they'd be willing to wait till next summer so I really may get a chance to become a big person in the biz. So much in the air right now it is scary. And I'll make the announcements as soon as I know more! (Or it is all in stone.)

<3 Aiden